I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize