the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
