worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
