I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
