Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
