New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize