Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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