Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
