i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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