So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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