Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
