You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
