hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize