You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
