don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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