I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize