i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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