shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize