just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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