She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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