So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
