P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
