They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
