im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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