awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
