he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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