god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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