if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
