We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
