discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
