No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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