There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
