Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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