my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
