Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
