He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
