Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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