How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize