I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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