Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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