you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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