We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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