I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
