About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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