so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
