That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
