Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
