bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
