WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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