And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
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Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
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I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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