My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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