upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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