I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize