I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
