dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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