i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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