she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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