just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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