You just made me feel so damn special
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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