ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
