it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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