I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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