I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
